A couple weeks ago, Mom asked me if I was ready to go back to school. I shrugged and said, “sure.” Although a few things have cropped up that have sparked some temporary insanity, I stand by that. Unlike previous summers, I approach the start of school – yesterday for teachers – knowing that not only have I prepared as much as I could, but I have also prepared well.
At the beginning of the summer, I made a declaration that I wanted this summer to be different than all the breaks before and a plan to make that happen. In so doing, I acknowledged things that had been my downfall before, things that I will not delineate again here; they all boiled down to one primary thing. On my own, I can do nothing; only God has the power to make those changes within me.
I ended up with a pleasantly full summer from a tech free week at the beach with my family to a week full of professional development at Summer Academy. IN between I had days where although I did not leave the house. I ploughed through lesson planning and reading to prepare for the upcoming year. Other days I ventured out to some new places and old places to meet people or help my dad and grandma move.
I look back on how I spent my days and have no regrets. Did I make mistakes like driving out to Converse to meet with my professor on the right day of the week but the wrong week? Most definitely. Instead of beating myself up for the mistake I could not go back in time and undo the action, I shrugged at the spent cost and focused on using the newfound “extra” time that I previously thought would be spent with my professor on things I thought I would not get to. That’s huge for me.
I also feel ready to get back to work, to get back into the swing of things, to work with those wonderful kids and continue to learn and grow. This puts me in the unusual position of Goldilocks upon discovery of baby bear’s porridge or bed. My summer has been just right. For that I give thanks since it has not been of me.
I hope to take that forward into the school year, primarily the ability to look at myself and learn from them rather than pick them up and beat myself over the head with them. I know that the strength to do so in the school year as I did in the summer will not come from me. It will come only from God.