Hit on at Walmart

I had a vastly different post planned for this week than this. I could not, however, pass up the subject that completely unexpectedly landed at my feet.

I headed to Walmart Saturday evening with the intent of picking up some thread for my next cross-stitch project and some groceries so I would have something to eat for supper. I normally purchase my thread from Hobby Lobby since they have a wider selection. The need for groceries had me head to Walmart since they have both.

I’m not as familiar with Walmart’s layout so I ended up making quite a trek around the store before I found the right section. As I looked for the specific aisle, a young black man about 25 years old, pushed a cart past me. He asked what I was looking for. My first thought was that he was an employee, even though he wasn’t wearing a blue vest.

Even though I did not know where the thread was, I declined the help. I typically try to find the item on my own if at all possible. Since I was headed the opposite direction, I thought that was the end of the conversation.

Little did I know.

He wheeled the cart around, got my attention again and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

I thought maybe he needed assistance finding something.

When I didn’t say anything right away, he added “If you’re not in a hurry that is.”

I managed to give him an “okay.”

“Are you in a relationship?”

I kid you not. That was the last thing I expected him to ask. My face displayed my sheer befuddlement.

“You don’t have to answer,” he mumbled.

I paused a little longer, considering if I should lie and say yes or if I should say no and what to say after that. Finally I said, “No. I’m not interested.”

“Oh ok. I just wanted to tell you that you’re really attractive girl.”

“Uh…thanks?”

I turned and walked away as quickly as I could while pulling out my phone to text Mom about the patently absurd thing that had just happened to me.

I know that this happens to some women all the time or at least on occasion. This is the first time in 31 years that it has happened to me and it provoked a lot of deep thoughts.

My first response was laughter. I found the minuscule thread section and could not contain the giggles. I kept laughing as I sobered up and thought beyond the surface comedy.

I started to think about why this had happened. The cause I settled on, although I will never know for certain, was what I was wearing. I hadn’t dressed up. I wore just the “around the house” stuff I spend the day in, a well – but not tight fitting – t-shirt and my “Run Like the Doctor Told You” leggings. I realized after this encounter that this may have been the first time I have worn them “out in public,” basically anywhere expect working around the house. Beyond that, it’s likely the first time I’ve worn leggings “out in public” since these are my one and only pair.

These leggings help accentuate my figure which since I have started running and strength training is the fittest I have been in my life. I will not lie by omitting the fact that a part of me liked it. We are created to be desired and loved. This craving manifests in so many forms, a large portion of them unhealthy. This is why flattery is such a powerful currency.

As soon as I realized that part of me liked the attention, the rest of me recoiled in repugnance. I am so much more than my looks. Would that man still think I was attractive if he really knew me, my likes, dislikes and most importantly, the primacy of God in my life?

I hate the objectification of women that pervades our society. On this principle alone, I will not eat at Hardee’s. Mom and I encounter it at least once a week or so on the run when random strangers honk at us or old men ogle us from their pick up trucks. Runner’s World ran an article in their December issue about this. This is beyond not okay.

Then came Sunday. We’re in the midst of a series on I Thessalonians and have just started a mini series within the larger series on sexual purity. Before Peter came up to speak, another man from our church via video shared the first part of his struggle with pornography, a thing that my family has history with, one of the causes of my parents’ divorce. It made me wonder about the kinds of thoughts that may or may not have been going on in that man’s mind when he thought about my “attractiveness.”

Pornography is also a familiar subject to all those brought up in the same repressive, Fundamentalist/Independent Baptist culture in which I spent so much of my life. I must qualify the way in which I just used the term “familiar.” Unless intimately acquainted with the sin, all those within that bubble knew the fire and brimstone consequences of succumbing to that base evil. As a female, my acquaintance with the subject was the strict legalistic enforcement of the dress code. We were told that if the neckline of our shirt came up to more than four fingers’ length below our collar bone, we invited men to sin by lusting after us.

So how do I balance all of this? I enjoyed the attention yet wholeheartedly believe that a woman is so much more than her looks. I know that what I wore drew this man’s attention yet I do not control his actions, only he does.

Once again, I come to the end of an entry without a clear directive answer. My wisdom pales in comparison to God’s omniscience. In the end, I hope taht all this rumination draws me closer to God in whom dwells all wisdom and truth.