Two weeks ago today, I received news that years ago and even a little bit recently, I thought I would never hear. My administrator came into my room during bus holding to tell me congratulations. I passed ADEPT. Nine years after I graduated with my teaching degree, I will finally have my professional certificate.
For as long as I can remember, with a few, relatively brief, intervals, I have wanted to be a teacher. In elementary school, I wanted to teach whichever grade I was in. AFter brief consideration of pediatric oncology. I returned to my first love, teaching. As the years progressed, things appeared to fall into place as I completed my bachelor’s and then my master’s in teaching and finally became a teacher.
That bubble burst quickly as I have described before.
Every teacher in their second year undergoes a rigorous evaluation designed to judge a teacher’s ability and execution in eight different categories. Upon successful completion of this process, a teacher’s initial certificate becomes a professional certificate. The professional certificate can be renewed. An initial certificate cannot. If a teacher desires to stay in the classroom for longer than the three years of an initial certificate, she must pass this evaluation. This evaluation consists of a team of evaluators who each observe the teacher twice, once in the fall and once in the spring. This team is made up of a teacher leader whose job consists only of evaluating teachers, a building administrator and a trained content peer. The teacher also maintains a notebook with evidence of other requirements that cannot be collected during the observations. After all evaluators complete the fall observations they hold a consensus meeting. At that point the teacher receives notice and if necessary can be placed on an improvement plan. AFter the spring consensus meeting, a teacher will either pass completely, not pass but be close enough that they are put on an improvement plan and put through the process again or they can fail so egregiously that they are not asked to return in the fall.
I have talked before about my struggle throughout my first two years of teaching. AFter my first year teaching, which was a disaster, I spent hours upon hours researching classroom management tips and brainstorming solutions. I entered my ADEPT year knowing both that I had done everything I could and that I would likely be in for a rough ride. The school year started and almost immediately the terrifying drowning feelings returning starting with the news that to meet the expectations of the head of the world language department we had to teach in full immersion and use only project based assessments. My partner and I had to throw out nearly everything we created the year before. On top of that, when the students returned, many of my former students returned to me, one grade up, having told all their friends about me. The mistakes of my first year continued to haunt me. Weeks later I decided that after that current school year I would leave teaching and go back to school for history. I still planned to do my best in that ADEPT year so that I could get that professional certificate just in case.
The mistakes compounded that second year. The struggles continued except in my two, bright spot, sixth grade classes. Years and conscious choice have erased the details of the individual details, everything save the final outcome. I failed and not by a little. Of course, that was a hard pill to swallow; I always want to succeed. The knowledge that I would not return to teaching was my spoonful of sugar. I assumed that when my certificate expired the following year, the door to my teaching career would close once and for all.
God can open any door. In the summer of 2016 I applied for a reissue of my initial certificate and started teaching again. I had last year as a sort of easing back in before my evaluation. When this year started, God filled me with a sense of peace and assurance. I was determined to do my best and knew that would be sufficient. My first evaluation came back; I read in shock the details which made me seem like the good teacher example in text books. Then, the third evaluator came with a report that rocked me to my core. In that particular lesson, things did not go completely according to how i had planned; this was first period and the first time I had done something like this with them. According to this evaluator, the lesson was an unmitigated disaster. My administrator observed a few weeks later and sent back more glowing words. In a consensus meeting, majority should rule, right? Unfortunately, no. I ended up getting put on an improvement plan.
The self-doubt generator started back up. I could not believe that I found myself back in that place again. Unlike the first time when I knew that I should have failed, I had grown and matured. This decision felt unjust. In the down time between observation windows, I poured over the interim report, analyzing everything mentioned to try to make sense of the glaring inconsistencies. Priority number one became passing ADEPT by any means necessary.
Even though I disagreed with some of the required improvements, I knew that I had to do it. I rearranged my desks. I observed a colleague. I instituted a new discipline procedure. It payed off. THe teacher leader observed me in the spring and noted that I made all the required changes and then some.
I knew that the real test would come with the third evaluator. She came on a Friday, last period. Although I have never met the woman before and do not, obviously, know for sure, I can’t help but wonder if she has something against me and is out to get me. Why else would you choose that particular class period? The moment she walked in, my nerves shot to overstressed. I flubbed so much thanks to those nerves and wished that my students would chill with the talking. When it ended, I had a sinking feeling that she would turn an average, slightly talkative class into a disaster in her report.
When I opened her observation report, I knew that my worst fears came true. The picture she created painted me and my classroom in a horrible light. Immediately I took option to several things she wrote in the classroom management section-which I will not delineate here-and noticed the length discrepancy between that section and all the others, including two sections in which she copied the exact same words twice.
I knew that if i did not act right away, I would end up steamrolled again. As soon as bus holding ended, I approached my administrator. He promised to look at it as soon as he returned from the conference he was leaving for right then. I returned to my classroom, not quite satisfied with how I left it so I took out the review, analyzed it, categorized all the issues, typed up an email and sent it to my administrator. He responded with advice on who to send that analysis to next. That email secured support for me yet I still lived in anticipation waiting on my administrator’s observation and the outcome of the consensus meeting.
I found out that Monday that the team would meet on Tuesday but had to wait until the end of the day Tuesday. When my administrator brought the good news, I breathed the biggest sigh of relief. Finally, nine years later, the long ordeal has ended. I can finally focus on being a teacher, focus on doing what I really want to do.
To be completely honest, the reality still has yet to sink in. Right now I still slog through the trenches of the final weeks of school, of state testing, of trying to wrap things up, of transitions explained and unexplained, expected and unexpected.
Finally passing ADEPT feels like a good gift from God affirming that He has indeed placed me where He wants me to be. He has redeemed my wandering years for His glory. He proves that not only does He have a play for my life, He also has been there for me as a support, Someone to rely on in times of need. This leads me to one conclusion. Rejoice! Rejoice in the Lord for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever.