So many times lately in either a post or a journal entry, I have written about my ever lengthening to do list. Aside from that mention, I want to shift the focus away from the fact of the list and more to the things that haver over my head like a cartoon anvil on a string.
I always have lists. People I went to school with years ago remember my lists. I have talked before about the sense of accomplishment I crave and earn from crossing things off those lists as well as the fact that I keep adding to those lists even beyond what I can possibly accomplish in my waking hours. Those lists for weeks, months really, have included a gradwork item, an item that I attempt to customize with the specific assignment. Rarely have I actually crossed those items off the list.
Even when I have a long weekend, like President’s Day last weekend, I never seem to make it to that particular item. In fact, I write this entry around seven in the evening and have yet to approach starting to write a paper ostensibly due last week.
So why do I always struggle with things like this? Why do I avoid starting things that end up taking precious brain space and mental energy?
I don’t know. I started this entry knowing that I didn’t have answers and that writing this entry would not bring those clear cut answers. It brought me a little closer though.