In the month just past, every week at school held something out of the ordinary, something that changed the normal routine and added to my to do list. The first week back from break, my school prepared in earnest for an evaluation visit from the Schools to Watch committee. The second week brought the aforementioned visit, benchmarks and the associated changed schedule, and the beginning of my own grad class. Throughout the third week I prepared for a fundraiser for our Model UN trip. The week just past, the last of the month, held a 7th grade field trip on two days with the grade split for each day and changing the half team’s, my team’s, schedule. On top of everything, I attempted to keep up with routine teaching things like preparing materials and grading student work. Things came to a head over the past week and I knew something had to change.
The climax began a week ago Friday with a letter from the natural gas company. When we first moved in, the landlord sent information about the previous tenant’s utilities which included natural gas. I have never had both electricity and gas so I contracted the utilities with which I had familiarity and lived in ignorance of my mistaken overlooking of natural gas until the letter informed me that the company had kept the natural gas on for six months as a transition period. Oops. The company gave us five business days to respond, including the four days it took for the letter to arrive at my house. I set the letter in a place where I would hopefully see and remember. I did see the letter multiple times over the next few days but did not call, the physical reminder finding no foothold in a brain clogged with all the other things I needed to remember. So Wednesday when the company came to turn it off, my roommate texted me, surprised at the occurrence and disappointed that I had not let her know that I had not done anything about the letter. I also felt terrible yet knew that my stuffed brain could have done no better than it did. Again, I knew that something needed to change.
Apart from the above described climax, this week held quite a bit of evidence to support the need for change. A couple nights I did not sleep well, waking in the midst of REM sleep which imprinted vivid worst case scenario dreams on my mind that lingered leaving traces of undefined negativity behind. Other nights I had little to no time to wind down as I tried to keep up with the minimum of daily work of grading and preparing for the coming day. I arrived to my grad class completely unprepared to work on the assignment because I totally missed the professor’s instructions of the week before. Thus, I did not complete the work for me and felt terrible because of that. The weekend came and provided little rest. I could not grade everything on my plate to grade and stayed up too late Saturday night, leaving my body trying to cram in sleep and waking only two minutes before the start of the morning service. I arrived late.
At this point, while in the midst of it all, I have no answers. The season ahead holds just as much if not more. I have two Model UN trips to prepare for. I start a second grad class in March and my admin internship starts the month after that. At least until the end of the current school year I have two subjects to prepare to teach. My regular responsibilities show no sign of diminishing. So, since the Muggle world in which I live has no rememberalls or time turners and the Doctor has yet to make it to this parallel dimension, what do I do?
Seriously though, fictional alternatives aside, I know that something has to change before burning the candle at both ends consumes the whole thing. In my own power, the candle meets a quick end. I have to turn to the One who can change the impossible. I have to rely on God for His help and wisdom and have faith in His promise that He will never give me more than I can handle. So, going forward, I may miss a week of posting here or there but I know that I, with God’s help, will emerge stronger on the other side.