Sometimes the words flow uninhibited. I have no shortage of ideas of topics to write about. Other times, like now, I stare at the page and have no idea what thoughts I wish to impart. My mind flits around, scrounging through my daily activities looking for some golden nugget hidden amongst the detritus of everyday life.
Part of my struggle, a large part in fact, comes from the habit I have fallen into with all my posts save for my travelogues and race recaps. In my weekly posts, I want to tell a complete story with a firm, discernible structure finishing with a lesson learned or a look to the future. The problem with this structure is that it serves until it doesn’t. It serves for the long view, for the topical, than for the messy in between where we live most of our life.
I do not see this blog as a place for me to impart wisdom from on high yet to often I feel constrained to this structure which chokes off the flow of thoughts in my head. I feel bad when I come to the conclusion of a post but have no resolution, no lesson learned, disappointed that I have not drawn a conclusion that I can share.
Fittingly, I do not have a big aha moment today for this post, only a dim yet dawning realization that part of this writing experience involves growing in my skill as a writer, challenging what I have always done before because If I stay in my comfort zone, I will never improve. I do not know what that will mean for the format of these posts or what I will choose to write about in the future. I may change things up or I may not. Things may get a little rough in the interim but to quote the cliché, “things always are darkest before the dawn.”