Although I do not plan to update every month this year, I think this first month merits a bit of reflection. This month has not gone according ot plan for a variety of reasons. Before I get too far in the year, I want to evaluate what went well and what may need adjustment.
So far, I have had success with several things. With one exception, I have cut out excess sugar from my diet which has allowed me to remember what it feels like when I have a little bit of sugar, the weekly reward. I have also been able to get in a stationary bike ride each week putting me well on my way to meeting my 500 mile goal. I have also had success with leaving school at five or before on days when I do not have a meeting. I have seen a lot of benefits from this and hope to keep it up. Making the 100 books read goal will not be a problem; I already have read 15 in the month. I also have managed to journal every day save for one day when I arrived home late feeling sick. Some entries have lasted, however, only a sentence or two.
I have had mixed success with my other goals and have learned from my failures. FIrst, at the beginning of the month, I remembered that i want to drink at least two full water bottles daily and succeeded in that goal. When I forgot about the goal, success became fleeting. I need to put reminders in more prominent places to help me remember.
Fitness and habit-wise, I have struggled. In the first half of the month, I had moderate success making it out of bed and to the gym or out the door for a run because I wanted to ensure that I got at least 30 miles run per week. I still struggled to get out of bed right away. Then, a little over halfway through the month, I got sick. I did give myself an exception for sick days. However, it still feels defeating to get in only one run for the entire week. This prompted some reflective thought and Google searching. I realized that in the morning, I now though of my run as something I had to do, not something I got to do. Instead of anticipating the run, I felt obligated. I want to shift my mindset to one that looks forward to running. I doubt this will happen overnight, but that’s the habit I want to build.
I also have not kept up with my glute and hip strengthening exercises pas the first week. I have no excuse or reason for skipping. I simply fell back into old habits. I want to change this; I made this a goal for the year after all. I have not marked this on my calendar (marked the days when I complete the exercises) yet. Starting this week, I plan to mark success on the calendar as a visual reminder.
SOmething happened recently at school that kept me from declaring success in the month of January in the area of staying out of drama. I will refrain from explaining the details of the situation and defending myself against outsized supervisory reaction. That day in question, I left my room after a morning of testing and engaged in a conversation with a couple of coworkers. While most observers would look at the conversation and declare it fairly innocent, through reflection on the incident God showed me that I had succumbed to the insidious habit of cynicism regarding another colleague. I have my doubts concerning this colleague’s ability to teach and manage classes. Those doubts should not cause me to approach every interaction with cynicism. God alone redeems my actions. Through Him, I should be better. The inordinate size of the fallout prompted a shift in my motivation for this goal. No longer do I simply want to avoid drama, I want to go the extra mile to be the peacemaker.
I pull back from that deep reflection to briefly discuss the last two goals that I have not quite made as much progress on as I had hoped. First, many weekdays, I still struggle to dedicate a full twenty minutes each day to writing. I find myself allowing myself to indulge in distraction while writing. I have made good strides though much room for improvement exists. Second, my savings rate rests a fraction of a percent below 40% after a month of all sorts of irregular expenses starting with several in the first week. I also made the decision halfway through the month to purchase a Kindle Fire to replace my iPad which bit the dust back in late October. (Mom leant me hers in the interim.) I think I have made positive strides on the savings rate front but am too hard on myself when it comes to evaluating that goal.
As I come to the end of this first reflection, I think about the purpose of the goals I have chosen and how God has and will use them to help draw me closer to him and become more like HIm. In years past, I relied completely on myself and found myself baffled when I failed. Now, I delight in the reflection that making these goals and attempting to achieve them, will draw me closer to God, my ultimate longing.